Candy Cigarettes

I seem to find myself in the Rite Aid, looking for things that aren't available, pretty often. I've gone in more than once in search of a Charleston CHew-these are amazing, esp. frozen. They only have them, I've come to find out, at CVS. My girlfriend told me (from Florida) that she bought a pack of cigs and was smoking them, and feeling guilty (she quit a while ago). So I was sending her a letter along with some small trinkets and a loaf of bread I baked, and I thought, how perfect it would be to send her a pack of candy cigarettes.
I had a feeling they wouldn't be at Rite Aid, but there I was, cruising up and down aisles. Sometimes I go just to walk around, look at all the fructose-woven gruel I could buy. It always seems to be late at night, and the employees must think I'm pocketing stuff-- coming in, wandering around the empty store for a while, and leaving without making a purchase.
Anyway, I went to CVS, then, in search of the candy cigarettes, already in doubt.
The Newsstand place next to Primanti's? NOpe.
Google informed me that there were a few candy shops in "Pittsburgh" --(the suburbs). I found an article supporting the argument that candy cigarettes invariably encourage children to smoke. Huh? And then I found a site where I could order a "carton" of candy cigarettes for like 16 dollars or something. There was a link--buy by the pack. I clicked it. A pack was 79 cents or so. I went to check out. I had to fill out all my information before they would tell me the shipping charge. The shipping was $7.93. At that point, I gave up. I just wanted some goddamn candy cigarettes.
Instead, I got an empty Camel box, and put an endearing note and a bag of tea in it. I'm sure she'll like it, think it's cute. But I've had to scale down some of my past endeavors, too, and I'm always tempted to tell her "well, I was tryin to..." I guess I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I find myself weighing the worth of sending a lesser sign of my intentions. I just wanted to send you some goddamn candy cigarettes, baby, but apparently there's a great shortage in the land.