What what

I had two papers due on Wednesday, my only finals-week finals.
I was really incredibly stressed out about them until thursday, when Brandon made me realize it was my last class, too. I realized I had two 5-page papers to write, then I could graduate and be done. I chipped away at them over the weekend, going to the library with the grandest of intentions, writing a paragraph, and watching music videos for an hour and a half before deciding my eyes needed a rest from the computer screen and it was too nice out to be in the library. Wednesday I got up, having a very rough, wrinkled bit of single spaced text in my backpack-one of my drafts. I worked out, chilled, listened to music, talked on the phone, looked over the draft. Finally, around 5:30, I headed to the computer lab in Posvar. I made the changes and emailed the 17 pages (it was a multi part paper) to the professor, attaching attachments and clicking 'send' without the slightest hesitation. Then I printed my Samurai and Western Film paper draft and headed outside to look it over. It had gotten incredibly dark out, something was rolling in quick. Deciding against the plaza, I headed inside the cathedral, and got the idea to go up to the honors college. It really helps me read attentively if there is a view, or at least things to look at, around me, as crazy as that may seem (must fit into our talks about different levels of perception and engagement, not sure exactly how--visual learner?). So I got up to the 35th floor, and watched the storm. Up by the North side, the buildings were fogged up, and I could barely see the hills beyond them. Other than that, though, things were relatively dry. I was hoping to see clouds blowing in like battleships, the rain starting as if with a snap of fingers. But I just kept reading my inane BS regurgitaions of the theories behind Tom Cruise and Forest Whitaker's characters' displays of loyalty in The Last Samurai and Ghost Dog, respectively. Every time I looked up, it looked the same--cloudy downtown, clear here. Then I looked down and the streets were wet. Then they were visibly wet, reflecting lights of cars. Then I got up, washed out my coffee mug, and waited for the elevator, sick of the blind masseur and the dually-reinforced theme of revenge (Zatoichi). By the time I got down to the ground floor, made the changes and printed the paper and got outside, the sun was making a comeback. I was walking to the Old Engineering Hall, then, not really in any state of mind, just walking up there. I was next to the Soldiers and Sailors, there, when mindfulness kinda came back to me. It was one of those grey/sunny days I used to love as a kid. I was walking along, not hot, not cold. Everything was moist, almost steamy. Nobody was really around on those streets, at 6 pm. But everything was damn green. The trees were flowering and smelling sweet. And I was turning in my last paper ever. Somehow the significance of this act hadn't really occurred to me until that moment. Inside the door of the OEH, an ROTC guy was sitting in his brown shirt and shorts, incredibly slouched over. I ran up the stairs to the 7th floor. In a file drawer in front of Keiko Mcdonald's door was a folder with the assignment sheet in it, and someone had dropped their paper in it. I skimmed the first page, left mine, reassured, and headed out. Rather than a weight off my shoulders, I felt like this was the final spike in a railroad from Eastern Pennsylvania to West I had just hammered in. I didn't feel tired, just at ease. Gonna see my family and my woman, gonna get all dressed up and get my little credence card (degree), and then that Eastbound train's a leavin. Whoo whoo!